Miss Dark Kingdom and a certain kitty
by Holmium
Summary: Zoisite  with Kunzite's insistence decides to enter a beauty contest. Problem is, it's been rigged so Beryl will win. But an unlikely hero enters the field...if you spend a lot of time on the internet you will recognize him.     My first fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at a fanfiction and I know it's not that great. ^_^' But I wanted to write a fanfic about my two favorite anime characters of all time which are Zoisite and Kunzite. I apologize if someone has already written a fanfic where Zoisite joins a beauty contest, I didn't mean to steal your idea! ^_^' But mine has a twist at the end and there really isn't much emphasis on the contest itself. But I won't give away what it is. ;) I hope you enjoy this!

Sailor Moon is owned by Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animation. I don't own it. So please don't sue. Thank you!

Kunzite chuckled as he watched his lover check himself out in the mirror for the tenth time that evening. Zoisite just couldn't decide what dress to wear on their date that evening.

"Hmm..." Zoisite mumbled. Which one should he wear? The pink one? The green one? Or the black and sparkly one? Zoisite stomped his foot and turned to Kunzite.

"Kunzy, dear, which is your favorite?" Zoisite asked.

Kunzite thought. "Well ZoiZoi, they all look lovely on you. But go with the black one tonight. We should go somewhere fancy."

Zoisite exhaled. "But are you sure? I really like the green..."

Kunzite smiled and snaked an arm around his lover. "Don't worry. You look beautiful no matter what."

Zoisite beamed. "Oh Kunzy!" he said and gave Kunzite a very, very, VERY long kiss.

Two minutes later, Zoisite and Kunzite left their castle to head for the portal to Earth. It would've been uneventful minus the fact that a youma reached it first.

"Five pounds too heavy, my tail!" the youma muttered and crumpled a piece of paper and catapulted it backward. It then stormed through the portal.

As luck would have it, it hit our dearest Zoisite square in the nose.

"Aaah! My nose! My lovely nose! Kun-n-n-nzy!" Zoisite whined before Kunzite consoled him.

"Zoi dear, your nose looks fine. But what's on the paper?" Kunzite snatched the paper out of the air. "Hmm...looks like a flyer for something." he muttered. Kunzite unfolded it and began to read. "Miss Dark Kingdom Contest 2011 entry form."

The Miss Dark Kingdom contest was entered by dozens of youma each year but everyone knew it was rigged so Queen Beryl would win. Youma just entered for fun.

"Hey, ZoiZoi!" Kunzite had an idea. "Why don't you enter?"

Zoisite frowned. "Why? Everyone knows that that contest is rigged. I don't even have a chance!"

Kunzite shook his head. "Yes, you do! You know, among all the residents of our lovely Dark Kingdom it is agreed upon that second place is counted as first to account for Beryl. In secret, of course. So at least try." Kunzite paused and saw no effect on Zoisite. "Pretty please?" he begged and made a puppy-dog face at Zoisite. That rarely happened, so Zoisite pulled out a camera, took a picture, and laughed for five minutes straight.

"All right, Kunzy. I'll do whatever you say." Zoisite said, still choking on laughter.

Just then, Kunzite got a devilish expression on his face. "Does that apply to tonight, too?" he asked, grinning like a silver-haired really good looking not-a-cat Cheshire cat. Zoisite rolled up the flyer and smacked him on the head with it before pulling Kunzite into the portal with him.

So how did you all like the first chapter? Please review and chapter 2 will be up soon! ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

All right, the next chapter of my "lovely" fanfic.

As usual, I own nothing, okay, so don't sue.

Our two lovers found themselves in the middle of a busy street.

"Where are we?" Kunzite asked. He rarely ventured into the earth realm, so naturally he didn't know their location.

Zoisite thought for a moment."You know, I've got no idea." Skyscrapers and bright lights were everywhere. The streets were crowded even though a huge clock said 3:00 A.M. People were running around everywhere, dressed quite strangely. Kunzite looked awfully weird himself with his Dark Kingdom uniform. (Zoisite was still wearing the dress. ^_^)

"Hey, look! Over there!" Kunzite shouted, elbowing Zoisite. Zoisite looked to where Kunzite was pointing.

"What is it, Kunzy? Oh yeah, I saw that guy in a banana suit earlier." Zoisite said and went back to being hypnotized by the pretty lights.

Kunzite stomped his foot. "No! Not him! That store over there!" Kunzite said urgently.

"Oh!" Zoisite's bright green eyes lit up as he spotted a 4-story-tall department store with a huge glass elevator. Zoisite and Kunzite glanced at each other before they ran across the street, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a bus.

Zoisite and Kunzite scrambled to get inside the glass elevator. They weren't wondering why a random department store would be open at 3 AM, oh no. They were quite...shall we say...busy. The customers didn't care. It was 3 AM! And besides, they were all used to displays of affection in the elevator. They lived in the city, after all.

Twenty minutes later, they had to stop kissing and breathe for once. Kunzite finally noticed the elevator's arrival at their floor. "Zoi Zoi! We're here!"

At once, Zoisite's eyes lit up. Again. "Oh my goodness, Kunzy! Look at all of these!" Zoisite gestured to a rack of sparkly dresses.

Kunzite grinned. "See? I told you this was a good idea!"

"Oh Kunzy! Look at this one!" Zoisite pulled a very sparkly, very colorful rainbow (how fitting!) dress out. "Kunzy! Kunzy! Kunzy? Hey!" Kunzite stopped drooling over the thought of his beautiful lover in that dress.

"Yes, dear?" Kunzite asked.

"I want this one!"

"Alrighty!"

And with that, they went off to pay for the dress, continue their fun in the elevator, get yelled at by several cops after a random small child with pink hair witnessed their behavior, and finally finish off their love business at Kunzite's castle.

How did you all like this? Please review it, I want to make it better. ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again and thank you if you are reading this~

This is my contribution to the ZoiKun community, although it's not that great, it is my first fanfic, and I'm happy I contributed in some way~

This chapter is pretty short, so Chapter 4 is coming soon. ^_^

I don't own Sailor Moon. No suing, please.

Back at the Dark Kingdom, Zoisite spun and spun in the rainbow dress. Kunzite's eyes sparkled almost as much as the glittery dress.

"This pleases me a lot, Zoi Zoi." said Kunzite while drooling. "In other words...Me Gusta."

(Me Gusta is Spanish for "This pleases me." It's also a face from Rage Comics which are popular on the internet. This may sound random, but it does make sense. ^_^)

Kunzite's "Me Gusta" brought Zoisite back to what he had seen on the Internet that morning. His eyes lit up with an idea. (There must be miniature lightbulbs or something in their eyes, always lighting up. ^_^)

"Kunzy! Do you happen to have a pair of kitty cat ears?"

Kunzite shook his head. "No, darling, but I can conjure you some lovely grey ones really fast."

"Okay!" Zoisite was excited.

Kunzite waved his hands in a frenzied pattern and it looked really cool. It wasn't long before grey cat ears appeared in Zoisite's lovely hair.

"Cool! Awesome! Thanks, Kunzy!" Zoisite expressed his utmost gratitude by immediately kissing Kunzite.

"It wasn't a problem, my darling Zoi Zoi!" Kunzite said after the kiss was over. Both men remembered their fun earlier that day/night/whatever and continued their...uh...how do we say this..."antics."

And that's that for the third chapter! Chapter 4 will come soon, promise! We will finally get to the actual contest, so exciting~


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to my reviewers~

MoonlightOutsider-The elevator clerk probably did what I would do...stand up and clap. *blushes*

SailorCopperOwl-I'm glad you like it!

YellowFan98-I just had to sneak Chibi Usa in there somewhere, I don't care for her much, but she was so funny that I had to. ^_^

I don't own Sailor Moon, don't sue me, okay, thankyou!

It was the day of the contest and Zoisite was getting ready backstage. He was already "helped" into the rainbow dress by Kunzite and was now adjusting the kitty ears. Kunzite had waited with Zoisite because, of course, Zoisite didn't want to wait for his turn alone.

"Kunzy..." Zoisite's stomach rumbled.

"Uh, what is it?" Kunzite thought for a minute. "Oh yeah! Here!" He conjured a pink cherry-flavored pop-tart for Zoisite. (A pop-tart is kind of like a pastry, they are delicious but unhealthy. ^_^;)

"Thank you." said Zoisite.

Kunzite glanced at his watch. (Kunzite has a watch? Oh well, it sounded good!) "Hey, it's almost your turn to go out onstage, so I'm going to have to leave you for now." Kunzite planted a quick kiss on Zoisite's cheek.

"Alright, see you soon." said Zoisite, disappointedly. He didn't want Kunzite to leave yet, not until he told him he looked pretty.

Zoisite got his wish. Kunzite was almost out the door, but then he stopped. He spoke in a whisper only his Zoi Zoi could hear. "Zoisite...you look absolutely beautiful."

Zoisite's heart skipped a beat and he blushed. "You do as well, my Kunzy."

Zoisite's name was called before he could finish the pop-tart, so he brought it onstage with him. Well, he couldn't just leave it backstage! It was the special pop-tart Kunzite had made for him! "The judges will think that I'm just being creative." he reassured himself.

Zoisite carefully walked up to the microphone, and the audience oohed and aahed at our dearest Zoisite's beautiful-ness. (No surprise there~ ^_^) Suddenly, Zoisite had the strangest idea to do a strange, spinning dress while holding the poptart to look more "creative."

The audience aahed once more, but it was for a different reason. A grey cat with a pop-tart on his back was flying down from the sky and rainbows were coming out from its...uh...behind. A song that was quite annoying began to play, and at once, everyone knew what it was.

"Nya nya nya nya, nya nya nya nya nya, nya nyan nyan nyan nyan..."

Zoisite starred in horrer as the Nyan Cat (as that was its name) came closer and closer to him. It was flying at the speed of rainbows! (Whatever that speed is, perhaps it's 20% faster than the speed of light.) It quickly smashed into Zoisite and knocked him flat on his tail.

"Aaaaah! Kunzy-y-y-y! SAVE MEEEEEEEEE!" Zoisite panicked.

Kunzite was too stunned to do anything. Nothing from the Dark Kingdom Shitennou training was going to help in this situation!

And that's that for chapter 4~ I hope you all enjoyed! Nyan Cat, by the way, is an Internet Meme, that is, it's quite popular on the Internet. There is a video of the Nyan Cat with the song that can be seen on YouTube. I recommend it, but it will get stuck in your head~ Chapter 5 will come up soon, and then we will find out what side the Nyan Cat is REALLY on~


	5. Chapter 5

Hello once again~! This is the very last chapter of this "lovely" fanfic and I am quite excited~ ^o^ I hope you've enjoyed so far.

Zoisite wasn't dumb. He knew from his days of Shitennou training that if something is flying at you, use it to your advantage.

"Wait! Nyan Cat!"

The Nyan Cat stopped at Zoisite's command.

"I am your leader and you shall do what I say!" Zoisite faked confidence when yelling at the Nyan Cat. The Nyan Cat looked quizzical for a moment, but then it nodded.

"Do you see that lady wa-a-a-a-a-ay over there with the long red hair and purple dress?" Zoisite gestured in the general direction of, guess who, Queen Beryl. "She wants to get rid of ALL the rainbows! So get her!"

The Nyan Cat's expression turned ferocious and it bared its fangs. It flew towards Queen Beryl, who was too busy flirting with Nephrite via cell phone to notice. (In the Dark Kingdom, dead people have cell phones. ^_^') The cat went straight for her neck and brought her down instantly. As soon as Queen Beryl died, the whole Dark Kingdom began to shake and all of the dark colors turned to rainbows. The announcer youma turned to Zoisite.

"Well, you killed Queen Beryl, so now you are the new king of the Dark Kingdom. Congratulations!"

Zoisite shook his head. "I don't want to be King. I want my beloved Kunzite as our leader and I will rule by his side as Queen." Zoisite beamed. "Kunzy! Come up here!"

Kunzite made his way to the stage in disbelief, but when he arrived, he surrounded Zoisite in an embrace and they began their usual fun and games. The announcer, being a smart guy, closed the curtains. He then conjured a video camera out of nowhere.

"This is YouTube gold!" he whispered to himself as Zoisite and Kunzite...well...you figure it out. As they continued, the rainbows spread all over the Dark Kingdom and everything was, to put it simply, pretty darn awesome.

"It's fitting that Zoisite and Kunzite's kingdom has all of those rainbows..." muttered Rei who was watching YouTube through the fire.

~The End~

I hope you all enjoyed~ There is a sequel on the way! As you can see, I gave Zoisite and Kunzite a happy ending. A funny one, but a happy one. But in the sequel, they will encounter a problem. Coming soon~!


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